Some Recent Thoughts

1. There is always hope. [Thanks to BoingBoing for brightening my morning]

2. It's actually rather easy to be completely uncompromising (as long as you don't mind the loneliness). Working with other people, however, is always a challenge.

3. Try something. If it doesn't work, try something else. Beating your head against a wall just hurts you and annoys the wall. [Thanks to Hector]

My leg situation has leveled off for now. For a variety of reasons I won't be discussing it further here. Feel free to contact me personally if you like.

I am also starting early preparations for my next recorded music project, which I plan to be a major departure from anything I've done before. And there will probably be some new live music project, though the two are not currently related.

Decayed, Decayed and Cyborg Love Songs Books available from Blurb

The book/liner notes for both "Decayed, Decayed" and "Cyborg Love Songs" are now publicly available from Blurb.

Hardcover prices are $22.95 each. Softcover is $12.95 (plus tax and shipping). These are not marked up in any way - that's what Blurb charges. If you buy one, let me know and I'll send you some music.

Decayed, Decayed

A record of Februa...

By Anu

Book Preview

Cyborg Love Songs

RPM Challenge 2008...

By Anu

Book Preview

Cyborg Love Songs and Decayed, Decayed in Rhapsody

My two RPM Challenge solo albums are now available in Rhapsody for streaming and purchase.

Even if you're not a Rhapsody subscriber, you can go check them out for free:
Decayed, Decayed (2007 RPM Challenge)
Cyborg Love Songs (2008 RPM Challenge)

The purchases are currently DRM-protected RAX files, but will be MP3s in a week or two.

I will be adding links to the books soon.

Cyborg Love Songs now available

Cyborg Love Songs is finished and available for download.
You can also download a crude PDF proof of the book/liner notes.

RPM Challenge Update: One Minute Left! [updated]

It's been a long, busy, and challenging few days since I last posted. At that time, I had about 4 tracks near done ("Perfect", "Home is where the hum is", "Magnesium and other metals", and "Ctrl-Q").
In the two weeks since, I've had many rehearsals with one of my other bands culminating in a show at the DeYoung Museum, the usual crazy stuff at work, and a few very bad nights of sleeplessness and twitching in bed.

I also had an old friend visiting from out of town who stayed in my studio.

Regardless, I've managed to get 3 more tracks finished.

Updated: I've added Yahoo's new Goose player to provide in-line playback of tracks and updated all the links. They should all play now.

"Daemons" was the first of the 3. Drum and bass-inflected pop. My lovely wife provided some lyrical criticism which led me to substantially improve the song. And per Brian Eno, there appear to be no problems that more backing vocals can't fix. This will almost certainly be the first track on the record.
Daemons [mix 07]

"Cyborg Love Song" is the inevitable title track. This one was surprisingly easy. From just a tiny bit of lyric and a melodic fragment in my head, the rest sprang out. It's sort of unabashedly pop and (new) romantic, which is appropriate given that I wanted to make a synth-pop record. The project has gone in a little bit of a different direction, but there's something I find beautiful and disturbing about this song.

The worst part of working on it yesterday was that after having gotten close to final, some plug-in had a bad interaction with Cubase and it corrupted the session, preventing me from saving and forcing a crash followed by a reboot. Nice. I've traced it down - apparently the Sonalksis TBK Filter doesn't play nice with Cubase if you draw in automation while the track is playing back.
Cyborg Love Song [mix 04]

"Undo" was today's task. An homage/rip-off of everything on Burial's "Untrue" album. It's going to be the last track on the record. It's also got a few nods to some other songs I have written, including "Decayed, Decayed". I am not 100% happy with this one right now, even though it is probably done. We'll see how it sounds in a day or two, and how much time I have left.
Undo [mix 02]

I also demoed "Download" but this is likely going to undergo substantial changes. The good news is that it only has to be about 2 minutes long - I'm down to the last minute but I plan on mixing the heads and tails of the songs together and this will likely "eat" a minute or so.

One interesting thing is that most of these songs stretch out a bit - they have long intros and outros, something I haven't done in 10 years. Some of that is giving the songs some room to breathe instead of "don't bore us, get to the chorus". Some of it is padding to hit the 35-minute mark.

The only other thing I have to do this week is finish up the book, which I'm waaay behind on. Then again, I guess only the album/audio has to be finished and shipped by 3/1, so no sense in killing myself over it if I don't have to.

Sid at the DeYoung

My good friend Sid Luscious played the DeYoung museum on Friday night. I'm sure he'll post about it on his blog but I wanted to share some thoughts as well.

As someone who loves modern art, it was great to get to the DeYoung for any reason. And walking in there as everything was getting set up was a treat - hearing the synth solo for "Valerie N" floating through the halls on a cloud of reverb while admiring a huge Gilbert and George mural with a poop crucifix and a caption of "Shitty" was just...perfect.

It's been a long, hard road for Sid. I'm glad he finally got to show his work at a proper museum. By all accounts, the show was a success. I feel privileged to have been there. The Pants never sounded better, many friends turned out, and a great time was had by all.

Magnesium and Q [updated]

A busy last few days. During the week I started on "Magnesium and other metals" (a.k.a. "Periodic Table").

I tried using a few new instruments that I hadn't used much before. The good news is I got them to work. The bad news is that getting the sounds exactly right was tricky - some parameters weren't quite right, and it took some doing to dial them in.

The end result was a close to final version of "Magnesium". The mix was all over the place, but this morning I sat down and got it all worked out. I think it still needs some backing vocals on the chorus.
Magnesium and other metals [mix 07]

I wanted to keep moving and on schedule so I started thinking about the next song - "Q" (or "CTRL-Q"), a song about video game addiction. I also wanted to do something that was sort of swing-y and in 6/8.

I built the track up pretty quickly and went off to the gym, wondering what I would do for vocals to keep it from sounding too much like "Personal Jesus". Fortunately, I head some tracks off the IAMX album "The Alternative" and it gave me all the inspiration I needed.

I got back from the gym and threw down the vocal, which turned out much better than I thought for a first take/trial. Forgot to eat dinner but got the track done.

Then I had some dinner and listened back to the mix. Vocals are too loud and probably have too many words.
Ctrl-Q [mix 05]

But...I have 18 minutes, 30 seconds in 4 songs. I'm halfway done.

Long-lost friends stop hiding!

Ok, here's a new rule: If you're going to de-lurk and comment on something, and you're a friend of mine and you haven't gotten my e-mail address...you need to get in touch with me!

K, I'm thinking about you at this moment, but you're not the only one who's done this...I've got a whole alphabet soup I could reference.

I figure some of this is because while I'm easy to find on the internet, my e-mail address isn't. So here's the deal: my e-mail address is my first name (the 3 letter one) plus my last name as one word (a****** - huh, that looks like something else entirely...) at the GMail dot com.

And K, funny that you commented the other day. I was just thinking about you as I was marveling that the following is now available in Rhapsody:

Jet Black Factory - "3 Poisons"
Jet Black Factory - "Lamplight Shining"
Jet Black Factory - "Vinegar Works"

RPM Challenge - the first few days [updated again]

The 2008 RPM Challenge has begun! I've been busy since Friday night and have already produced 2 tracks.

The first track is tentatively called "Perfect". It's built around a whole-tone scale (made obvious by running up the scale early in the song). I'll say this - it's hard to write melodies in whole-tone when you're not used to it. It really sounds weird. But that's OK by me - I'm looking for something a little outside what I'd normally do here. I need to finish the words and I'm not thrilled with the vocal performance yet, but the rest of the track seems promising. I spent Friday night and most of Saturday working on this one.
Perfect (rough mix 05)

Saturday night I started in on a new piece. I was thinking about how easy it's been for me to fall asleep on airplanes (and how difficult to sleep anywhere else lately). I wanted something that would convey the dream state and flying. I built this song out of noise and drones, and did a very low vocal reminiscent of a track I recorded 10 years ago called "LEM". An appropriate homage. Working title for this song is "Home is where the hum is". More or less finished after a second mix pass - lots of low-end energy made for an overly muddy mix the first time around.
Home is where the hum is (rough mix 04a)

Between these 2 songs I already have nearly 8 minutes done. Seems almost too easy so far!
Today I was researching some of the physical problems I've been having - apparently magnesium deficiencies can produce some of the symptoms I've been having. After doing some poking around on the Internet, I realized that the quest for completely balancing one's body chemistry is good grist for a song. Maybe I'll call it "Magnesium and other metals" or something to do with the periodic table.

Updated: Apparently the Chill server cares about capitalization of filenames. Sorry the links weren't working. Fixed now, and as a consolation prize I put up a newer, more complete mix of "Perfect".

Would love to hear what people think of the tracks.

Updated again: Goose player installed, links updated, mixes updated.

Wabi-Sabi and Product Design

There are many examples far worse than this.

I find it funny that people will spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy piece of elegantly designed consumer electronics like the iPod or iPhone and then stick them into a cheap and hideous case designed to "protect" it.

It reminds me of those living rooms some of my friends' families had with nice furniture trapped under plastic shrouds.

What's the point? They love the object's beauty so much they'd rather hide it or obliterate it completely lest it get a single scratch? These things aren't supposed to stay perfect, flawless, beautiful forever (just like you and me). The expected consumer lifetime for most PDAs, mobile phones and MP3 players is 18 months. You really can't live with a scratch that long?

I believe Apple puts those shiny chrome backs on the things to force people to fetishize them, constantly trying to rub off their own fingerprints. Sisyphean in a way. All that attention - it's like washing your car every day.

Zune has done a nice job of giving their players surfaces that still feel and look nice but don't require you to carry a bottle of Brasso everywhere you go.

There's a Japanese concept known as wabi-sabi. There aren't direct analogues in English, but the general idea is there is a dignity and beauty in things that are aged and worn, and that impermanence and transience are good and right.

Would you rather have a shiny brand new guitar or a vintage Strat from the 50s? Most people, not just guitar junkies, prefer older, worn instruments. Wabi-sabi.

Fender and other manufacturers have realized there's big money to be made in delivering new guitars that look (and to a lesser degree, feel) like they're old.


As a guitar player and appreciator of wabi-sabi myself, I cannot deny that I think older guitars look and play better than new ones. I even think the faux-old ones look better than new. But I could never buy an ersatz old guitar. That's cheating, and even cheesy. Part of the wabi-sabi aesthetic is the implication of the wear - this thing has been around, it's been used, it has a history.

The Steampunk movement is operating in this space coincidentally, if not explicitly. And one of the reasons people liked the design in Star Wars so much was how everything in the world felt used and old, as opposed to the typical "out of the packaging" look of most other science fiction.

I wish more designers would take advantage of wabi-sabi. What would a car that came "relic"ed look like? Why don't they? (answer: because the car companies have a lot invested in you wanting brand new shiny cars instead of old ones - and there are way more old cars than new available. The reverse is true for guitars).

Consumer electronics would be great like this. I would love an MP3 player that was slowly rusting, with big chunky knobs. Or a PDA with a leather back that wore and aged like a Filofax or notebook. A home stereo with dents.

What about a PC application that "aged", wore, and picked up dings and marks? What would that be like?

Las Vegas and CES 2008

Las Vegas, 1978. My family is on a trip. We've been to the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyons, Lake Powell, and many other sights. Our dusty van rolls up in front of Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas. My young brother and I share what seems like a giant room covered in burgundy shag carpet. There are mirrors on the ceiling and I can't figure out why. I've read numerous books mentioning people stealing ashtrays from hotels. Naturally, I steal one from Caesar's. I still have it.

Las Vegas, 1994. I have been working at Spatializer Audio Laboratories for a few months. I am sent to work COMDEX, the legendary expo. While the company, our booth, and staff are small, the show is gigantic, overcrowded, and ridiculously expensive. It's also raining all the time. I am staying at Bally's and marveling at how much Vegas has changed. I am in my mid-20s, gainfully employed at what I think is a great job, and happy to be alive. I'm going to get engaged soon.

Las Vegas, 1996. I am still working at Spatializer Audio Labs and here with the now large Spatializer team. Staying at the Hilton. I am separated from my wife. Her company has a booth less than 50 feet from ours, and I watch her working with the man she's left me for. It is late and gray. I am pushing through the crowds in my raincoat, Deckard desperately searching for the replicants. I need to talk to her. There is crying. Awkward phone calls. Emergency telephone shrink sessions. I haven't eaten food in a month. A month from now I will start divorce proceedings.

Las Vegas, 1998. I am lying on the fake beach at the Hard Rock with my girlfriend, enjoying a nice vacation. There is much relaxation, some drinking, and a little gambling. My Dad lives here now and I see him briefly.

Las Vegas, 2000. TuneTo.com is hosting a small event at the House of Blues, largely so our PR director's band can play there as part of the EAT'M conference, where I'm speaking on a panel. One of the women helping host the show flirts with me. We'll meet for drinks later. I will find out that she lives in L.A. - the town I am just about to leave in a matter of weeks. We will have dinner a few times and stay in touch. She'll end up in San Francisco shortly after me, stay at my place for a bit, and then resurface years later rooming with colleagues at work.

Las Vegas, 2007. I am here for CES, working the Rhapsody booth. Proud to be here, and feeling good about life and myself. We're showing Rhapsody 4.0, finally available after a long and tortured development cycle. We are also showing the first Rhapsody-optimized MP3 player. The show is exciting and long. The second night I'm there, I can't fall asleep - my leg twitches and keeps waking me up. I get no rest. The same thing happens the next night, despite my exhaustion and working out.

Las Vegas, 2007. The MTV Video Music Awards. Ever since I first saw MTV, I wanted to be on it. Working for MTV and being behind the scenes is almost as good.

Las Vegas, 2008. CES is over. I am sitting in the West Wing of the MGM Grand. West Wing is their "modern" part of the hotel, a nearly W-ish take on their regular rooms. Economical but very nice. Nice furniture. After multiple nights of business dinners, I finally had a night to myself to relax and get some room service. I've managed to work out every day and worked hard at the booth. Lots of demos for press and others.

Last night I managed to have dinner with an old friend not seen for many years.

The night before I nearly got time to myself. So very tired. 20 feet from the eleveators...but a hand clapped me on the shoulder. My former boss. "Let's go have dinner". So to the cab line with 2 other people. $40 later and we're at the head of the cab line. The door closes. The driver asks "where to?" One of our party says "Take us to the Indian restaurant at the El Dorado". The cab driver says "there's no hotel named 'El Dorado' in Las Vegas, and I only know about 3 Indian restaurants in town." Our companion is stammering. "Well, what's that place, you know, across the freeway?"

"Sir, that's a condo complex."

Our other companion is frantically texting on his Blackberry. Oh god it is going to be a long painful night. If I weren't wedged in the middle of the cab, I'd already have bailed out.

"What's the name of that place, you know..."

"Sir, I need a destination or you're going to have to get out of the cab."

The other guy says "We're going to 'Lotus of Siam', do you know where that is?"

"Yessir, it's outside of town in Commercial Center, near all the massage parlors. We'll be there in 10 minutes."

I'm not a huge Thai food fan. But at least we're going somewhere. Or are we? Companion 1 is racking his brain "wait, what are the restaurants you know?"

Cab driver says "'Gandhi' is a popular one."

"Yeah, that's it!...no wait, it's called 'Gaylord'. It's in the Rio, yes, the Rio. 'Gaylord' in the Rio!"

Too late. We're on our way to 'Lotus of Siam'. Which will have a one hour wait. We'll pass the time griping about work over Newcastle at a pool hall nestled between several karaoke bars and "Asian-style" massage parlors. At 9:30 one of our party will look at their Blackberry and say "oh, we have to leave right now, I have a meeting to get to."

I get to sleep at midnight, my chapped lips still burning from the Thai food.

Viva Las Vegas.

2008 Resolutions

1. Get in better shape. I did this last year quickly and successfully before leg issues and lassitude dragged me back down.
2. Spend at least one night a week with friends (and make more). I have many wonderful friends here in town (and out of town). I should see them more often.
3. Read more books. My stack isn't getting smaller fast enough!
4. Finish the new Pants album and play better/more gigs. 4 more songs is all we need!
5. Finish a new solo album. Since I turned 16, I've managed to create at least an album's worth (10 songs/45 minutes) of new music every year. 2008 will be no exception! Not sure whether I'll blast it out during the RPM challenge, but I have a few ideas...

I also have a short list of errands that I will finally get around to. For example, it may shock some readers to know that despite my crazy relationship with music, my main stereo speakers date back to my college days and both of them have holes in the woofers. I need to finish my personal will. And so on.

Unlike most people, I actually stick to my resolutions and do what I say I will do. I will try to keep the blog updated once a week (at a minimum), which is roughly double what I've managed over the last few years. As always, dear readers, I welcome your feedback and appreciate your time.

Happy 2008!

My Top 10 Albums of 2007

2007 was not a great year for new music, at least for me. I'm getting older, so everything I have ever heard gets to compete with everything new. The new stuff usually loses. I also find that as I get older, I am just less interested in what's going on right now and more interested in exploring various branches of the music history tree.

Regardless, here are the 10 2007 releases I thought most noteworthy.

1. Burial - "Untrue"A last-minute entry, surprisingly topping this list. This moody downtempo record by a guy from South London is like "Blade Runner" meets DJ Shadow. Simple, spare tracks that conjure vivid images and a variety of moods. Cinema for your mind. Not too long, not too weird. The sort of record I wish I would make sometimes.



2. LCD Soundsystem - "Sound of Silver"
   Electronic/Rock. I didn't care for their last record, but this one has actual songs plus production that even makes the hipsters shake their butts. The basslines are almost all cribbed from other songs, which makes for a fun game of "where'd he steal that from?" But the influences are at least a bit novel, and there's a sense of longing and melancholy beneath the partying, and it's carefully leavened with humor and irony. I don't know if I'll be listening to this record a lot in 2008, but it certainly made 2007 better.
   
3. Amy Winehouse - "Back To Black"
   Pop/Soul. Take her personal life out of the equation for a moment. She's got a great voice, writes great songs, and manages to make music that isn't for children but doesn't make you like a complete old fart listening to it. The production is a decent blend of retro and modern. And the songs are catchy and melodic without being stupid.
   
4. Nine Horses - "Money For All"Alternative. If this were a full-length record instead of an EP, it would almost certainly have topped this list. Most of this is semi-decent remixes of tracks from the David Sylvian-masterminded group's first album "Snow Borne Sorrow". But the ringer here is the title track, whose edgy and topical lyrics ("...I'll take that coat/remove them shoes/should a guy like me be afraid of a man like you?...") practically made it my theme song for the year.
   
5. Stars Of The Lid - "And Their Refinement Of The Decline"
   Ambient. Unusual in that it's not electronic - the record is all cellos and brass (or at least convincing samples thereof). A double-album with some unfortunately juvenile titles for what are quite beautiful compositions. The record unfolds extremely slowly. The sort of music I would want played at my funeral. I mean that in a good way. If these guys had gone to music school, you'd be reading about them in The New Yorker or New York Times or other classical publications.
   
6. M.I.A. - "Kala"
   This Electronic/Pop album makes me feel very old and very young. Very young because it's au courant and hip and fun and makes you want to dance and everyone's talking about it. Songs are reasonably solid and it's an example of a contemporary record and artist that don't make me completely wince. It makes me feel old because I can't listen to the whole thing without getting a headache. Hell, I can barely look at the album art without getting a headache. It's a bit much all at once, but who listens to albums all the way through anymore?
   
7. Nine Inch Nails - "Year Zero"
   Industrial rock. Back in the 90's, Nine Inch Nails were one of my favorite artists - very exciting, fresh, and different. Then they started making records like "The Fragile" (all of the NINnies love this record. It bored me to tears). "Year Zero" isn't an incredibly amazing record, but it's consistent, has some interesting production (while being less reliant on that production than previous albums), and some decent songs ("In This Twilight"). I'm also giving them a spot here because of the unusual marketing campaign and "alternate reality game" which I believe will be one of the most influential things about the album. And there's Trent Reznor's issues with the traditional music business.



8. Tie between After The Night Falls

and Before The Day Breaks (both by Robin Guthrie and Harold Budd). These ambient albums are sort of companion pieces - the track titles on each record mirror each other. Very much in the same vein as their soundtrack to "Mysterious Skin". Heavily treated piano and guitar. I probably listened to these two albums more than anything else this year.

Underworld - "Oblivion With Bells"
Electronic/Dance. Underworld put out an album this year, which all-but-guarantees placement on this list, as I think they are awesome. This record is not their best, but it has some very strong moments ("Crocodile", "Beautiful Burnout") and only a few really weak ones ("Ring Road", for example).

My 2006 picks are here for reference.