Friday, September 08, 2006

Everything Must Change, Only One Thing Can Change

A few days ago, a manager I respect said
"Your problem is you're too nice! You have to stop that."
Yesterday I woke up at 4:45 am for a day trip to Seattle. The office visit wasn't unpleasant so much as unnecessary. I didn't get to do the thing I was nominally flying up there for, and key players neglected to show up for some of the important meetings that had been scheduled. Aside from a muffin and coffee hastily downed before getting on the plane (since, you know, liquids are bad), I didn't get to eat.

Sometimes when I fly I can fall into a deep sleep, only to pop up wide awake and restless for the remainder. Once that happens, the flight is pretty unpleasant. Not enough room in the seats to even sit comfortably with my shoulders. Can't even reach down and get items out of my bag. So I flip rapidly through songs and think.

I realized I'm pretty annoyed. And I haven't really had time to do anything of substance (or even update this blog) in the 6 weeks since I returned from teaching. I haven't been able to get to the gym much. I have nearly 6 hours of meetings every day, plus "real work" to do.

In short, everything must change. Of course, I can't change the way my employer does business or how it treats people. I can't change the world news. I can only change myself, change the way I live, change what I say "yes" to.

So I'm going to.

This is the sort of deep personal introspection sitting in a middle seat in front of the bulkhead for 2 hours gets you.

At least the hives haven't come back.